Life in the City

I live in the metro New York City area and work in Manhattan, so this would mean I have a great source of women to choose from. That is what you would think, but like many in the City I feel like I am on an island surrounded by millions of other islands.

I mean, I am really the one to blame for that (my island feeling, not everyone else’s, that is Obama's fault...hey, everyone is blaming him for everything, I got to join in while I can). So I thought I would write down some of my attempts of getting off the island as part of the therapeutic purpose of this blog, or something like that.

Last week was pretty bad in terms of missed actually taking a step to get off. On Thursday, on my morning commute I was in an insanely packed 2 or 3 train, can't remember for sure right now, and this girl was leaning all over me. I mean there was no poll or railing she could grab easily, but there were like a pack of other people, but every time we stopped or started she was all over my shoulder and arm (I look good in a suit and tie, she probably couldn’t help it. What did I do about it? Nothing, that's what, not even any smart ass comment, which would have been what was needed.

I just froze up. I was going to be like, "You know what they say about grabbing on to other people?", or "A couple that leans on each other stays with each other?” However, I chickened out, probably for good reason, cause those lines suck, but that is what I need to do. I need to start getting over that fear of making a fool of myself or giving a damn what a bunch of strangers that I will never see again on the subway think about my corny attempt to talk to a cute girl.

Same thing happened in line for lunch a couple of times this week. I just pussied out from starting harmless conversations, just froze with anxiety. Surrounded by good looking girls and nothing to say. So if anyone has got any idea about how to get over this anxiety, be my guest.

21st Century relations hit C-Span

For your viewing pleasure here is a clip of a guy trying to get back at his ex-girlfriend for cheating on him. Please remember that this is at a C-Span broadcast event about politics (First spotted by Roissy, and GameForOmegas):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BV_5m3nySo&feature=related

So what do we learn from this? Apparently, even the ultra intellectual get very bitter and resentful. Like Roissy said, this guy definitely is showing his hurt and his still apparent interest in a not so good looking lady. If I was in his spot I would probably do the same thing, which means my beta is showing, or more likely probably not said anything, but would have been steaming inside.

What he did was he chose a national cable channel to vent and that makes him look petty, which apparently is a big turnoff...who knew, I mean really? Seriously though, I just found it amusing and thought I'd share.

P.S. I will try to put up a post about my own failures and lack of triumphs from everyday life as soon as I am done posting this.

Sleep with one eye open

Think you are everything that a girl ever wanted in a long-term partner: caring, intelligent, thoughtful and hardworking; thought she loves you and loves spending time with you? Well that gets you jack and squat. Apparently being loved and everything she ever wanted is not enough to keep her interested or loyal. Here is a link to the Ask Amy article, where some girl asks a stupid question to which she gets an even worse answer:

http://www.startribune.com/lifestyle/104726584.html?elr=KArks7PYDiaK7DUHPYDiaK7DUiacyKUzyaP37D_MDua_eyD5PcOiUr

Here is Vox Day's commentary:

http://voxday.blogspot.com/2010/10/warning-hamster-at-work.html

Now go back to slaving away to try to impress that fantasy girl you think you will find.

A Woman's Perspective

The below is a link to a great article from the Spearhead by one of their female readers.

http://www.the-spearhead.com/2010/10/10/the-modern-womans-self-deception/

She pretty much explains, from the female perspective, the issues that the nice guy (beta) has when trying to attract a woman he believes to be his equal.

Here is probably one of the best and most painful parts of her article:

What we say we want means nothing; it’s what we do that counts. Women need to look at what (and who) they do in order to get a clear picture of what drives them, without rationalizing their “bad boy” complex. The ideal beta male most women describe as what they want is definitely practical, good for long term stability and so on, but they are in denial of their basic sexual natures if they claim to find that a major turn-on. For the good beta male, no doubt this can be very painful, probably more so than the tendency for men to have a wandering eye that can be painful to a decent woman, because it speaks to the core of who he is, not just his physical attractiveness.

Sometimes to believe something you actually need to hear it from the source. Regretfully, it is the loss of society’s mechanism to control these natural instincts in women and even in men (cheating) that has led to the good guys ending up on the losing end.

The Great Fog

Wow, it has been a long time since my last rant. Let's see if we can change that around. I have re-read my previous post and have noticed how jumbled I am in my thoughts, but I don’t think that this will change in this post since I am just beginning my journey and am right now just caught up in a wilderness of mirrors and fog.

I mean after 25 years of listening to the same drivel about doing the right things to be happy and have a good life; I have come to learn that most of that has been bull. It is probably less than 25 years but it has taken me that long to just come to accept the truth that I deep down knew all along. I feel like a guy coming out of a decade’s long comma and seeing a world completely different from the one he knew. Let me tell you friends, this is a harsh and cold world, where the old truths no longer hold sway.

I've been pretty much kept busy reading Roissy, GameForOmegas, and VoxDay; regretfully that is some pretty depressing reading, especially for what would now be classified as a beta guy. I've wanted to say so much, but then the anger and frustration rise to such a high level that putting words together that don't end up long, confusing diatribes becomes pretty difficult.

It is reading these that I see why Nietzsche went crazy when he realized modern society killed G-d. However, instead of the long ago dead G-d it is women that have now been killed for me, or at least what I now realize was my romanticized fantasy of women. I used to be that beta that put women on a pedestal and thought that would let me get with the opposite sex, but now that I have seen the truth I am like a ship without a rudder. On the one hand I cannot go back, but I don't know how to go forward.

Hopefully, the last part will change with time, but I fear this is going to be a long and painful journey. Thus is life I guess.